Evestus@TMW

 (originally at www.evestus.ning.com on January 31, 2011)

Approxmately two years ago a friend came to visit me in tartu, and said: "there's a new hairy guys place open, called tapper, let's go find it." we started from zavood. i asked a random girl where the hell is tapper. she said: "in tallinn."

facepalm.

last night, finally we found the legendary tapper. beforehand we had levelled a bottle of aramis with coke, and therefore arrived a tad late. i had always known that fifteen minutes in tallin takes a little longer than fifteen minutes in tartu. so, we arrive in the infamous sinners nest of tallinn, nice buzz in my head, ready to see how the big city rocks, and...

nothing.

the place was essentially similar to roc'n'roll heaven in tartu, albeit bigger, and - emptier. emptier in every sense. no people, only one barman who, albeit clad with a devils pentagram hoodie and looking all metal, really didn't seem to want to be there. and they had neatly managed to distribute two bottles of liquor evenly over three shelves.

the stage.

Silverstique. i must admit - quite lookable. if only someone would turn off her mike. this resembled the estonian photographers meet. there they take a bunch of old farts to a lakeside, get three saggy titted nude models and then all old farts swarm around them and try to look smart. here too, half of the people had SLR's, trying to get lower angles, using the flash to illuminate the underside of helens skirt where stage lights didn't reach.

Driven.

rando asked the audience who had heard of driven and who hadn't. i hadn't. apart from the introduction on TMW homepage. it was a pretty accurate introduction. they just forgot to mention that it was also drunken buddies free mic karaoke night.

fifteen minutes.

i had always known that fifteen minutes in tallinn lasts a bit longer than fifteen minutes in tartu. TMW was supposed to be a very accurate event. bands go on at half hours, off at quarter past, next on after fifteen minutes. i imagined how the backstage was illustrated with posters saying "no one has time for your rockstar bullshit. get on the stage when it's your time". i really don't think anyone expected evestus to go on before midnight, though his set time was 23:30. there was no fuss about it. because everybody has time for evestus' rockstar bullshit. i was probably the only one who even checked the time.

the set.

evestus was also the only one who bothered to decorate the stage. because if you have a flag, then you gotta fly it. these TNS flags hanging down the sides of the stage looked really good. by the time evestus went on, the room had at last gathered some audience.

the stranger.

i had a few unsuspecting people along, one of whom had never heard evestus and normally listens to.. y'know.. crap. tapper had been previously sarcastically advertised to him as the place where music sounds like a mother elephant stuck in a blender being raped with an angle grinder. seems he survived. maybe there's hope after all.

the way it's done.

one of the indications that you haven't been to evestus' concert is, that your neck get's sore by the fourth song, not the next morning as it should. now, people say that the front of the stage is not the best place to listen to a concert. because the pacement of the speakers, the best sound is around the middle of the room. fuck their shit. if i want the best sound, i sit at home alone, in a soft couch, surrounded by a sophisticated hi-fi system and let the perfectly balanced sounds masturbate my ears in complete lack of background noise. if i had a hi-fi system.

over.

all good things end too fast. well. nothing else to do to grab a beer somewhere, cool down for about fifteen minutes and steer home to sleep.  but then again, i had always known, that fifteen minutes in tallinn lasts a bit longer than fifteen minutes in tartu. hell yeah.